Letter to my Daddy

In honor of Father's Day having been this past weekend, and today being my dad's birthday, I'm writing him a letter.

Daddy,
First of all I want to wish you a happy birthday and may we have you around for many more years to come.
Thank you for all you've done and continue to do. You have taught me to be a generous person and to lend a hand where it's needed. You are one of the most selfless and giving persons I know.  You are always helping without asking for anything in return. I look up to you for that and for many other traits that you show.
I want to thank you for an amazing childhood. Providing for your family has always been your top priority. Thanks to you and Mom, there was always a hot meal waiting for us when we got home. We always had clothes on our backs, even if it was from secondhand stores.
There's not a stranger you haven't met. I admire your small talk skills and you can make a friend with just about anyone.
Many people are fortunate enough to call you their friend, coworker, brother, uncle, etc. , but I'm blessed to call you Dad.
Forever your princess,
Claudia

You're Gonna Miss This

Summer is here and although I have Adryan at home all year round, he is getting to the age we can do more things together in public places. He is just getting easier to handle. No more diaper bag to carry around, no more fifteen strap carseats to deal with...you get the idea.
So yesterday we decided we would go to the library. On our way over there, we drove by a monster truck. He was so excited about it, I decided to make a u-turn so he could see it up close. We got off and took a couple of pictures with it and we even got free snowcones from a nearby sponsor tent. We were there a good ten minutes before I decided it was too hot. We got back in the car and headed to the library. We returned some books and got some new ones. Adryan played with some puzzles and colored at an activity table in the kid's section. He even made a couple of friends. And I felt so proud of him cause he drew eyebrows on a picture and the librarian said he was a very observant and bright little three year old. My pride was at a 12 out of 10. The afternoon was pure bliss. We even got home and he cooperated for his nap. I had to do a double take and make sure I had brought the right kid back from the library. No fuss. I even started to think he was over his Terrible Threes stage. Of course I was too quick to think my boy could possible be turning into a well behaved young man because once he woke from his nap it all went downhill. I cleaned up two JuicyJuice messes. One on the kitchen floor and one off the carpet in the living room, he wanted to borrow my phone to play a game and cried until he got his way, then this happened...

:0
Hhe ate one of my birth control pills. I  was freaking OUT! My first instinct was to call Poison Control but I didn't have the number on hand so I just called his pediatrician's office. I spoke to the nurse and she reassured me that it was harmless especially because it was an inactive pill (the white ones). I sighed in relief and used that exact moment to vent about my active day with him. She chuckled and said 'Enjoy him while he's young cause when he grows up you're gonna wish you could go back in time.' This really hit me after I hung up. She was right. Sometimes we get so caught up in the now that we forget the little things in life. These are the things we're gonna look back and laugh at for years to come. So just breath it in and enjoy the moment. Even when you want to pull your hair out.

 

If I Could Write A Letter To Me

Linking up for the first time ever today with Holly and Jake. Let's hope I'm doing this right. Writing a letter to my 21 year old self. Even if it was just two years ago. But 2011 was a tough year for me.

 Claud,
Hey there hot momma. I want to just say I'm glad you didn't get the house you were hoping to buy. I know right now you feel a little disappointed and firmly believe the world is out to get you. You feel that nothing ever goes the way you want it. And sometimes you even wonder why other people that dont work as hard for their stuff always seem to get what they want. Just know that a couple of years down the road everything will smooth out. The hubbs will get a much better job and you will finally start seeing that youre able to make bigger improvements on your little fixer upper. Don't try to compete with anyone else. Just focus on your own path to success. Also, I want to bring up Baby #2. Although you feel like you may be ready, God works in mysterious ways. Get ready. Prepare yourself mentally and emotionally for what's to come in the next month or so. Things happen for a reason...maybe it's just not time yet. Please allow yourself plenty of time after this miscarriage to think things through before you decide you want to try again. Adryan should be your major concern for a while longer. I want to talk about Tio (uncle) Gizmo. I know you know he has been very sick these days and that he has been in and out of the hospital. You should have spent more time with him. His days are numbered and you need to be strong. His passing will be the first time you take anybody's death to heart. You have to learn to let things be and understand God's ways. As for now, hug him tight, cherish every moment that he calls you 'Beautiful' while he is still around. As for your health. I wish you would take action about your weight now and not wait till almost a year later to start making changes. I know that right now you are not even aware that you are in the top percentile of obesity. I know this with all my heart because even now when I look back I can't think of a time you were majorly concerned with getting into shape. You kind of just thought the weight would eventually 'magically disappear. Fortunately, in about a year, you will come to your senses and find out that theres no better way to shed weight than the old fashioned way. Sweat your ass off, eat healthy and don't give up. The saying 'Good things come to those who wait' is total BS. The saying people use now is 'Good things come to those who work their asses off.' I cant wait till you are introduced to health and well being and realize that you have to care for yourself no matter how old you are. I won't spoil it all, just know you are one hot MILF. I know you don't recognize the self esteem but I promise you'll get there. ;) P.S. Too late now, but I wish you would have never been introduced to the Housewives series or Pinterest cause you are hooked, girl! P.S.S Here's a before and after just so you get an idea of how far you have come. You rock my face off!

See ya in the mirror, Me

Slow progress is better than no progress.

Last night I started to think about how long it took me to get where I am. I thought about the struggles I faced, the smartee choices I was getting used to, the sacrifices I had to make and generally how much happier I am now than what I was 2 years ago. I began thinking about how lately I've slacked on giving it my 110%. I realize we are only human but I also realize that because we're human, we are capable of making better choices. I told myself I woukd get up at 4 in the morning and go to the gym just like I used to when I was so dedicated.
This morning rolls around and I told myself a hundred reasons as to why I shouldn't go. It's too early, I cant find my workout clothes, it's too far, etc. Then something happened. I had a small confrontation with myself, pushed all the negative thoughts out of the way and just went. On the way in, the negative thoughts lingered in my head again. This time I drowned them out with my earbuds, blasting a fast paced song on Pandora. I had a great workout. Got my sweat on and drove home in satisfaction. If I had listened to all the excuses I made up for myself, I wouldnt have gone and I would have been upset with myself.
One simple positive thought changed my whole day. Tomorrow is another day. I double dog dare myself to go again tomorrow.

I'm back.

Finding the time to keep up with a blog has been a little more challenging than I thought, but I commited myself to it so I have to be more consistent with it.
Anywho, lately it's been pretty crazy around here. We are getting ready to go on vacation to Cancun next Friday so I've been putting off a lot more than just the blog.
Weight wise,  I'm still at the 180 range that I've been stuck in for months now. Not that I don't know why, more like I don't want to fix 'why'. Ive been eating shitty foods and working out is no longer my top priority like it used to be. It's really hard when you are stuck in a rut to wiggle yourself out and start all over again.
I promised myself that once I get back from Cancun, I'm getting rid of the excuses and going at it again.
Lately, I go to the gym 2 to 3 times a week! When I used to go 4 to 5 times I felt so good and it was really becoming second nature ti get up and go. Slowly, its been climbing down my daily activities schedule and my mission is to get it back up there in my top priorites.
On another topic, I'm entering TimBob's and HubbyJack's lips syncing contest! I'm just now about to send off my my video to be judged by the nonjudgemental duo. Hope they think it's as funny as I thought it was. Then it will be worth the 2 minutes of humiliation.
Well gals, that's all I've got for now.

Changes That Come With Losing Weight

About 45 lb loss

<p>&lt;p&gt;I took a little trip down Memory Lane. I thought about the changes that have come with my weightloss, (besides my apperance). &lt;br&gt;<br>
Starting off with a topic that usually is more taboo than anything: Sex. At my heavier weight, I remember having little or no sex drive at all. It just felt awkward and I was so self concious about the situation. Sex wasn't fun for me. It just reminded me of how fat I was. The more I could talk my husband out of doing it, the better. Even when I &lt;i&gt;was&lt;/i&gt; in the mood, I never felt like I had enough sex appeal or confidence to approach him about it. Almost a year into my weight loss journey and I am proud to say that the sex is awesome! Of course I'm still a little self concious about my midsection but I am in a much better place than I have been for the past 2-3 years. I have gained so much confidence in myself that doing the deed has become less of an problem and more of an enjoyable intimate moment with my husband. I have to give props to him because he never made me feel uncomfortable about having sex. Even at my heaviest he never once had anything negative to say- even though he may have been thinking it. But I know for a fact that he likes the new me (in progress) better because he has told me that he sees that I'm more comfortable with myself. And I am. &lt;br&gt;<br>



What I typically wear now on a date or a day out.

What I used to wear out when I was concious about my weight. Just a top and jeans.
Oh and I tried hiding my midsection behind people.

Another big change that has just recently started to take place is my love for clothes. I used to hide my fat under jeans and tees. I would hardly ever go shopping because I was afraid of having to try on a bigger size of clothes. I lived in the same outfits and of course flat shoes cause what's worse than a fat girl trying to be fashionable? A fat girl who already feels awkward with her weight and height and add some wedges or heels to the mix. Never. At least that's how I felt about myself. I remember going out dancing with my husband and seeing all these pretty girls with cute dresses and heels. And here I was wearing jeans, a 'dressy' top and flats. I was already fatter than my husband- I didn't want to be taller too. Lately, I've been shopping for clothes a lot more and my love for heels keeps growing. I am no longer embarrassed about my height. I wear my heels proudly even though I may be a couple inches taller than my hubbs with them on. Cause I know I look damn good! Dresses used to be a big no-no. Now they are a must for a night on the town. <br>
Pictures! I have always had a love for taking pictures. I just love the camera. But back when I was bigger I remember having to take like 5 or 6 takes of the same thing cause 'My face looks too fat!' Or 'Let me suck it in!' And I would hide behind people to cover my tummy area. Now I love taking selfies in the mirror, and uploading them to Instagram (as some of yall know). Where there's a photo op, there's me!<br>
All of this goes hand in hand with my confidence. I used to walk with a slump, now I walk tall and proud. I'm more outgoing than I was before and I'm not as hesitant about speaking my mind. I am loving all these changes that I keep discovering in myself and hope to never go back to my old ways. <br>
Losing weight not only helps your appearance, it allows your real personality to shine through and show the real you!

New Workout Schedule

Man o man ot has been a while since I've updated you guys on anything here on my blog. If you follow my indtsgram, you're pretty much updated on my current progress. For those of you that don't, here's a breif look at what my days consist of thus far.
Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays are the same.  Breakfast, Gym at 9 am (still doing about 45 minutes of cardio-more running- and about 20 to 30 mins of weights.), post workout snack, lunch, snack, dinner. Lots of water in between.
On Wednesdays and Thursdays I watch my niece so I can't hit the gym during the day cause the daycare center doesn't allow me to take her with me. So I wake up extra early (3:50 am) and go get my workout in for the day early. Soon as I get home, the hubbs takes off for work, I hop in the shower, get back in bed cause its still early as fuck and wake up again around 9 to get my day started.
Im still battling against a plateau that has been here since the holidays. No lie, I have been stuck in the 180s since friggin Christmas. For a while I surpassed the 180s and got into the high 170s but then we went to a quinceanera in Mexico and shit hit the fan. We were down there for 4 days and that was enough to get me back into the 180s.
Also, I recently (about 10 days ago) I started taking a meal replacement shake usually for dinner (occasionally for breakfast) from Herbalife. I gotta say, the shakes are good and they do satisfy your hunger. I've only tried the Cookies and Cream and the Dutch Chocolate flavors and they are both really good. I hope they help het me back to the 170s.
When I initially started my journey I had a goal weight in mind...180. Now that I'm at the weight, I don't want to stay here. I know I can go so much farther and accomplish more milestones than the ones I've already accomplished. I'm almost at my 50 lb loss and I couldn't be happier about where I am and what I've achieved but I can't stop now. I know Im capable of so much more. This journey has taught me so much about mysrlf, about life, about the ability to transform myself into anything I want. I just have to set myself up for success, believe in myself, be aggressive and shoot down my goals. Little by little I know I can. If I've come this far in 10.5 months, I can only imagine how much more I can accomplish this time next year. Life has been good to me and I'm ready to show the world that chubby girl is no longer, and in her place is a strong, confident woman that can do anything she sets her mind to. Weightloss is not only physical. It's a mind game. If you think you can't, you can't. But if you get up every day telling yourself you can do it, and give it all you have, you will. It's that simple. Train your brain before you start training your body.